Friday Funny

I'm not a bad person I promise.

I love horses, but this Far Side Cartoon just made me laugh this morning.

It's that big

In Utah the biggest firework holiday isn't the 4th of July it's the 24th of July; also known as Pioneer day or Days of '47.

The 24th of July is when we have our BIG parade. This year looks to be no different. As kids we loved to go to the parade (I still do). We'd get up real early to get downtown to stake out a spot. I loved it. We'd be there hours before the parade actually started. We'd sit in the street and eat bagels. There were the few die hards that would sleep on the streets the night before to stake out the perfect spot in the shade.

This morning as I was driving to work I noticed some people sitting in lawn chairs on the side of the road. Could it be? People are actually getting set up a whole 24 hours BEFORE the Parade starts? Is it really that important to have THAT spot that you have to stake out 24 hours before hand? Not to mention that Utah has been in the 100's for the past 2 - 3 weeks. So not only are they getting "the perfect" spot for the parade they now have to sit out and babysit their spot the ENTIRE day in 100 degree weather. Talk about dedicated or crazy...

So on July 24th, the rest of the world has to get up and go to work! I'll try not to let that spoil my fun while we party!

I should have called in

Going to bed after 3:30 in the morning, only to have to wake up for work at 7 am sucks... real bad.

But it was totally worth it!

This is how I feel today....

One could only hope.

Some of us aren't made for mornings.

Yesterday was a nice relaxing day for the husband and I.

• We had breakfast in the park with our ward at 8:00 in the morning. I hate waking up early, I am not a early morning riser if I don't have to be. But I made it.
• Then we went home and napped all afternoon.
• Woke up early enough to get some grocery's and fireworks for the BBQ we were invited to.
• Ate some good food.
• Set off fireworks.

It was a good day.

The funniest part though happened as the husband and I were getting ready for bed. I took off my shirt as I normally do. Went to unstrap my bra and realized I was wearing TWO BRAS. I think I wasn't quite awake when I went to the the breakfast. I'm just happy I made it with pants on.

Flamingos

A few years ago I was in a photo "treasure" hunt where each month we were given a list of things to photograph and post it back on the website. One of the things to photograph was a flamingo. The goal was to be as creative as possible. We could get a real flamingo or a fake flamingo the only rule was a picture of a flamingo. That's about the time I became obsessed with everything flamingo. I think they are so funny! Utah use to have a flamingo at the Great Salt Lake that escaped from the local aviary. Instead of re-capturing the flamingo they let him live there. Every winter Floyd the Flamingo could be seen at the Great Salt Lake among the seagulls and other birds. I'm not sure if Floyd has been sited recently but I've been out to the Great Salt Lake many times to see if I could see him (no luck).

My mom is great at "helping" us with our addictions/collections. When I was younger I thought the Russ Trolls were so cute. Every chance I had to buy one I did. I acquired quite a collection of Trolls and my mom facilitated my collection by keeping a list of all my top Troll wants and buying them for me whenever possible.

With my flamingo obsession she's back to her old tricks. One day I was having a really bad day when there was a knock at my door. This was standing there:


I called my mom to find out if she left it and she denied everything, even though later I did find out she left it to cheer me up.

My aunt bought me this one from Build-A-Bear.


And this one my mom bought for me just because it was funny.


I also found this scrapbook paper at the store and immediately bought it even thought I'm not sure how I'll scrapbook with such a crazy background, it's just fun to have around.


So there you go that's my most recent obsession/addiction.

We aren't all crazy

I've been debating if I want to blog about what happened in our office yesterday. It's good stuff but... Well anyways Little Miss told me I should definitely blog about it so here goes...

My boss called me yesterday morning and said she got a strange cryptic message from our answering service from an employee that works part time in the afternoons.

The message: "Employee is canceling the deposition tomorrow because it's too far to drive". Which didn't make any sense. Did I mention that my boss got the call from our answering service at 1:30 in the morning! I pretty much figured what she meant was that she was quitting because she moved to a city North of where we worked and it was too long of a commute and she's been having a lot of car problems. When my boss finally talked to her she confirmed what I already knew. But also threw in this fun tidbit.

Backstory... As most people know I'm Mormon. The employee that we have working part time is also Mormon. My boss is Jewish. She's very understanding of our religion especially living in Utah and there are a lot of Mormons. Every once in a while she'll ask me questions about our beliefs or what we do in certain circumstances. Mainly she'll ask me about baby blessings, or about funerals and why we have the casket in the front of the chapel where we worship, or what to give to a child as a baptism gift or what is appropriate to give a missionary when they leave on a mission. But every once in a while she'll ask me doctrinal questions that I'm not sure how to answer her without sounding like I don't know anything about my religion or I'm crazy.

So back to my story. The employee also mentioned to my boss that she received a blessing from her bishop telling her that she needed to quit her job and find a job closer to home. Okay I accept that. I've never heard of a blessing being so straight forward and blunt but to each his own I guess. In the blessing she was also told that she needs to find a job that will allow her to work only 1 to 2 day a week. WTF? How is she suppose to support herself? She's divorced and living with a roommate. Oh yeah and she's been divorced twice and has 7 kids that she can't have any contact with. And she has to pay child support for at least 5 of these kids. So now I'm getting questions from my boss about blessings, where they come from and who can administer the blessings. There are two things that I don't like to talk about at work, politics and religion.

I honestly think she's crazy. She's said things to me in the past where I've walked away and thought to myself... Holy Crap this lady is crazy! I wish I could take a picture of her and post it on this blog but that wouldn't be very nice of me and I'm not good at being that discreet. I also think this women is the type that wants others to run her life. She's made a lot of poor decisions in her life and I think she's pretty messed up in the head. So she needs the approval of others (in this case her bishop) to make decisions. It's one thing to say I need to quit because my car sucks and the commute sucks and it's a whole different story to say God told me I need to quit my job. Crazy Crazy!

And I promise not all Mormons are crazy. If you ever met me you'd realize I'm pretty chill about my religion.

You can learn anything

Last night I was searching the community education website to take some classes, when I came upon this class that is listed below. THERE IS AN ACTUAL CLASS FOR BLOGGING! Now this makes me laugh.

Class Number
509281
Class Name
Computer: Blogging Basics
Class Description
What's all the buzz about blogs? Join our class and take a ride into the blogosphere! Learn how to choose a host and create a blog. Design your own mini-magazine or online journal. Expound on your thoughts and options and receive reader comments. Study blogging etiquette. Set up RSS feeds. Discuss edublogs, kids and blogs, and survey the best celebrity blogs. Stay current on any topic of interest and enjoy blogging benefits.
Class Times
6:30-8 pm
Start Date
06/13/2007
End Date
07/25/2007
Days of the week
--W---
Number of Sessions
4
School
Kearns
Room Number
207
Cost of Class
$ 30.00

True life blonde moments

Blonde Jokes.

I've always liked them. I don't get offended by blonde jokes because they are just that JOKES. I think they are funny.

But lately the blonde jokes have been taking on a new meaning. I've been having blonde moments that remind me of blonde jokes I've heard.

How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash? She's the one on her bike.
Now I didn't go to the car wash on my bike, I'm not that dumb. But I did forget to roll up the window when I drove into the car wash. And trying to roll up the window while water is spraying you in the face is not fun at all.

A policeman recently saw a distraught blonde weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" he asked.
The blonde replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"
“Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" the cop asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to him.
As he took the key and manually unlocked the door, he replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
This basically happened to me this morning at the post office. Except I didn't know that my remote door un-locker had a problem. I went to the post office pressed the lock button on my remote, it beeped at me indicating that it had locked. I did my thing in the post office and when I walked to my car and pressed the unlock button nothing happened. So I pressed it again. Still nothing. So I stood there pressing the button. Then I remembered I have a key. But I guess I turned it the wrong way because all it did was beep and me and the door was still locked. So back to pressing the button. Finally I decided to try again but turned the key the opposite direction and it worked! Blonde moment gone!

I'm sure everyone has their blonde moments regardless of hair color. These are just two of mine.