Lames Jokes -- enjoy

I don't have anything too exciting to Blog about. Leaving for Australia in less then a week (and counting), so I'm trying to get stuff caught up here at work.

So here are some jokes that my cousin put on our family website, they are kind of lame, but amusing. Enjoy!

-> A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, "What do you want?" The bartender replies, "First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food." The panda bear turns around and says, "Hey! I'm a Panda. Look it up!" The bartender goes into the back room and looks up pandabear in the encyclopedia, which read: "Panda: a bear-like marsupial originatingin Asian regions. Known largely for it's stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

-> One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tuckingher son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have tosleep in daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

-> A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a -big garage -sale and gave all my -money to the church,would I get into Heaven?""No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned thechurch every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?"Again the answer was "No!""Well", she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"