I've been debating about talking about this all weekend; but I feel I need to get it off my chest and maybe get some insite on how I'm feeling.
Lately I've been have a little bit of anxiety when I go out in public. I listened to all the news stories about the school shootings when either fellow students or just a strange man went into a school and killed people at random; then I remember the sniper attacks back East in 2002. I thought it was sad/horrible/unimaginable. But I honestly didn't think it had any effect on me until this weekend.
The husband and I went to a movie. And it's been a while since we've been to see a movie other then a drive-in. But everytime someone got up from their seat, my stomach would turnover. And all I could think was I hope they don't have a gun. In my mind I planned what I would do if someone did shoot-up a theater. I was honestly scared everytime someone would walk into the theater or out of the theater.
Is that weird? And why would I worry about it?
I hate the fact that I have to feel nervous going out it public like it will be my last time. I don't know anyone that has ever been killed or been relatively close to any story. But it scares me non-the-less. I don't know maybe the feelings will go away. Maybe I need to stop reading and watching the news. It just seems lately all there is on tv are horrible stories about horrible car accidents, death, murder and disease - and I'm not talking about primetime TV - just the news.
Then I worry, do I really want to have kids? Are we better off just not having any kids. Or is this way of my making myself feel okay that we can't have kids?
Monday, October 16, 2006
One of many fears.
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10 comments:
I have been very afraid of going out in public. Hell, I have been afraid of MY SHOWER before.
Yah.
As far as the kiddie thing goes. It IS scary as hell. The worst can and does happen. Every single day.
Anyone who is contemplating having/or who has children can testify to the scary thing raising them in a world like this is. You just have to be brave and not let the crap of the world outweigh the joy of it.
I was scared to go to the bathroom at the show when Scream came out. And loralee is correct, we live in a scary world and television just personifies how scary it is every night.
Sorry, I had to delete my last comment because it had too many typos in it. Here it is:
I wonder if the world has always been this scary, or if I'm just more aware of it now that I'm old and watch the news. Was it like this for our parents? Or does our generation have to think about new fears like school shootings, prescription drug abuse and our children's self-image more than ever. I'm scared to death too.
No, it's true. Times have really changed. Our parents used to say that to us, and yet the evolution of all things scary continues to change for the worse.
I'm terrified to let my daughter go to school, I refuse to go anywhere that would leave me more than a 15 minute drive to her doorstep.
The only thing we can do is pray and be as vigilant as possible in protecting ourselves and our family. We can't prevent terror, but we can seek peace.
If you need to talk, please call.
I think it's a normal reaction to so many scary news events. I came up with all sorts of justifications for why I didn't want children when I didn't think I could have one.
That being said - you know you will do your best to protect your child.. you can't let the bad people in the world take the joy of a child out of your life if that is what the two of you want. Seriously - what a horrible victory for evil if people start thinking that way.
Have faith.
dude, your post "just got knocked the fug out" by Holli.
Way to go. You ROCK. (she says, wiping the tears from her eyes)
I have been feeling the same way lately. Who would want to bring a child up in the messed up world we have to live in. I am confident in my child-rearing capabilities but it is everyone that has me scared to death.
You are not alone in these fears. The outside world is a scary scary place.
it seems that everytime you turn around that the world becomes a scarier place dosnt it
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